Friendships

I just came back from a great lunch with friends that I've met along my journey.  So, I thought I'd blog a little about friendship and how it's changed for me, as I go through infertility.  There are some really wonderful people that I have met and would not have otherwise met if I wasn't on this path.  I am grateful to be their friends, but sad about the circumstances.  They are such a great support system and if you haven't gone to an infertility support group, I strongly encourage it.  Even though I feel alone at times, I never do when I talk to others who have been through the same thing.  I've been going for over a year now and it has positively affected me and in some ways, made me stronger.

Here's the bad side about my existing friendships before I went through infertility: they seem to be rapidly depleting.  It's funny how they say it takes a crisis to know who your true friends... I've learned the hard way that there is much truth to that.  Most of my friends have gone on to start their families and seem to leave me behind.  I can count on one hand those that have been supporting me throughout my journey.  Just asking me, "How are you?" is enough for me.  But, people don't even ask me that.  They just pretend like nothing's happening and thank God that it's me, not them, who is struggling.  Even some that have struggled with their own fertility seem to leave me in the dust after they "overcome" it.  It makes me sad because it seems like most people only want to be your friend when your life is going great.  Friends should be there for you, no matter what, especially in a time when you feel alone and devastated that your life isn't going as planned.  So, here's my advice for those of you that have infertile friends: Don't just say you're there for them... Show them that you're there and that you care.  Ask them how they are feeling.  Lend a listening ear.  Be a shoulder to cry on.  They need you now more than ever...